Crown Jewels Condoms

I published this back on March 22, 2011. In honor of the Royal Wedding on Friday – I am re-publishing:

Royal Condoms

Crown Jewels  condoms (souvenir) are being released in honor of the upcoming royal wedding. It’s hilarious.

LONDON: While Britain has a public holiday to celebrate Prince William’s wedding, one company is taking the party one step further with souvenir condoms that urge lovers to “lie back and think of England”.

Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is producing special celebration packs that bear the slogan: “Like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion”.

Critics have dismissed the novelty condoms as “Tasteless”.

Military helicopter pilot William, second in line to the throne, is to marry his university sweetheart Kate Middleton on April 29 at London’s Westminster Abbey.

All manner of predictable unofficial souvenirs such as tea towels, chinaware and postcards have been rushed out by manufacturers, with condoms now joining the ranks.

Hugh Pomfret, a spokesman for Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction, insisted they were “a unique way to remember this great British occasion”.

“In years to come, they will be a timeless memento of a magical wedding day.”

Presented in regal-looking purple and gold, each pack bears a picture of the couple gazing into each other’s eyes, saying it contains a “Triumvirate of regal prophylactics”, which are “lavishly lubed” and “regally ribbed”.

“England boasts some of the finest lovemaking in the world, with a tradition of coitus going back generations,” lovers are told.

“Combining the strength of a prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-To-Be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure.”

It also includes a drawing of the couple “as they might appear on their wedding day”, produced by an “acclaimed international artist”, who is not named. The facial resemblance is not overwhelming but the pose and outfits seem styled on the official engagement photographs.

The manufacturers stress that they are not supplied to or approved by William, his fiancee or the royal family.

Ingrid Seward, editor of the royal-watching Majesty magazine, told The Sun newspaper: “This is completely tasteless and really rather hurtful. Prince William has a great sense of humour but this is a step too far. This is a cheap swipe to make money.”

Buckingham Palace declined to comment.

January 30, 2011

Link to Article

3 thoughts on “Crown Jewels Condoms”

    1. Lol. Of course you wouldn’t want to look at a guy that is required to produce the next generation of one of the leaders of the Free World. That is simply too much stress for any man. But, you must consider your ‘lady’. What sort of sexual tension might it trigger in her? Might that enable her to look at “His Regalness” and transfer his animal magnetism onto you?

      And, the required disclosure here is that I DO NOT receive compensation in any way from the sale of ‘Crown Jewels Condoms’. If one reads the fine print – they don’t protect you in any way – so, don’t really use them. They’re a Collectible only.

      Thanks for reading the blog!!

    2. Yeah, Prince William doesn’t do anything for me … until I realize that this man possesses the power to potentially save the world or destroy it. I think that as soon as he’s married, Granny will turn over the country to him. That pussy of a Daddy was never meant to lead — but, Prince William is inherently powerful. And, therefore — Sexy.

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