Is This A “Chick Flick”?

I am sort of scared to watch this movie.  I’m definitely NOT fond of being beaten or tortured.  I cannot understand women that would like to be “cut” or whipped or raped or – lord knows what.

I’ve read some of the reviews online, though.  It looks like it glamorizes sexual violence to me.  The leading lady seems very immature and doesn’t know what she’s getting into.  I understand that many women don’t mind getting spanked – although I’d imagine that there would be many times where one couldn’t participate in BDSM sex because they would need to recover from the beatings & etc.

The “Recovery Phase” would make ME shy away from having BDSM sex – as I like to have it on a regular basis.  If one is recovering from a beating or even a spanking – then there would me no more of  THAT for a while.  It certainly would take even longer to recover from more harsh forms of BDSM.  I haven’t heard that aspect mentioned anywhere. Being a practical type of person – that’s the first thing that I thought of.

Here’s a trailer of the movie – which debuted (ironically) on Valentine’s Day.

Oral sex, anal sex were illegal until 1962.  And, the Supreme Court ruled against sodomy bans in its 2003 decision in Lawrence versus Texas – it was still illegal in 14 states.

It was a little weird to hear that Beyoncé and Jay Z enjoy having a Dominant/submissive, BDSM-based sex life.

I read that a lot of women might have a “fantasy” about being raped – but, there’s a huge difference between a fantasy and actually BEING Raped.  I’m sure those same women – would feel differently if that actually happened to them.  Not something I’m interested in.  I like my “Vanilla” sex.  A lot.

In fact, both men AND women dream about being submissive. There was a sex study done about it in 2009. Read the full version – as they might take it down. IDK. It’s called, “Social Dominance and Forceful Submission Fantasies: Feminine Pathology or Power?”

There’s a really good discourse on this movie and about the “Freedom” to engage in BDSM in a review from The Atlantic, written by Emma Green.  She argues whether consent is really enough:

“For people in the BDSM community, consent is the ironclad starting point—but that’s not the end goal of their sexual activities. Because it’s a community that people choose, one with strong norms and mores, it can embrace a set of sexual values, like exploration, play, and experimentation.”

“But for most everyone else—the average Fifty Shades reader and moviegoer included—this isn’t the case. On college campuses and elsewhere, not everyone fully understands and embraces the importance of consent—or gets the basics of sex. And even when people have a sophisticated understanding of sex, American culture offers little to model healthy sexual encounters beyond the threshold of consent.

Because the U.S. is such a pluralistic place, with so many conflicting viewpoints about how people should live their lives, American culture inevitably sends lots of mixed messages about what having a good sex life actually means—or looks like.”

The National Center on Sexual Exploitation has a website,, that details 50 problems with this disturbing trend in entertainment media.